On My Heart: Being an Unconventional Family


I will be linking up with Amanda @ A Royal Daughter for today's On My Heart post. Amanda's blog and the way she lives her life inspires me, and encourages me to write about the real stuff, which is what this link-up is all about.

 

:: Before I begin, I just wanted to say that I thought about postponing this post and writing about the tragedy that occurred in Boston yesterday, but I thought it best to continue with what was written already, and just say that my hearts are with everyone involved. I hope that everyone finds peace in this troubled time::


I've thought a lot lately about being a traditional family. When I found out I was pregnant with Natalie I thought about all of the things I would do with her as she grew up. I had grand plans.

I was going to breastfeed. Then Natalie came seven weeks early and my milk never came in. Dream Over.

I was going to cloth diaper. Man, those things are expensive! And we didn't get any at our baby shower. Dream Over.

I was going to make sure I woke up every time the baby cried. Exhaustion won over, and the baby went back to sleep. Dream Over.

I was going to make sure that Natalie never put anything in her mouth that isn't supposed to be there, like you know.....dog food? Yeah that happened. Food that fell on the floor? Already been there. Toys that are not meant for chewing on? Done that. Dream Over. (God made dirt, and dirt don't hurt right???)

I was going to make sure that she was introduced to many different foods and that she always got her veggies. Then she got semi-picky and always wanted chicken nuggets and tater tots. I got pregnant again, and refuse to fight with her over it some nights. Dream Over.

I want to say that my house is always clean, but sometimes the trash overflows, the floors are dirty, toys are everywhere, and there is pet hair all over the floor that I let my daughter play on, but I just don't have the energy to do anything about it. Dream Over.

I was going to make sure that meal time was at the table and never in front of the TV. Yeah, we never use our kitchen table. Dream Over.

 

At least she's sort of at a table right?

I was going to make sure that she gets a bath every night. Yeah, again, no energy and I just do NOT feel like fighting her to sit still while I dry her hair every night especially when she is already over-tired. Dream Over.

 I wish I could say that I never get frustrated, never get angry, but that would be a lie. But will also say that I love her with my entire heart and soul, and I think she has a pretty good idea just how much I love her - at least I would hope she does. And, for the most part, she is happy and healthy, and even if we aren't perfect, she is loved. That counts for something right?

I want to say that everything else I will follow through with. I want to say that eventually we will be a traditional family, but I would be kidding myself. We are an unconventional family, and in this day and age, I'm starting to think that being that way is more normal than abnormal.

Now I just have to learn how to be ok with it.

 

 

 

Until later lovebugs,

 

Rachael